I know I sounded harsh.but I would rather be harsh now then to be sorry later having to see that there's nothing else can be done to help you.just like what pastor said, the easy way to learn is to learn from others mistakes; the hard way to learn is to learn from your own mistakes.Sometimes the price to pay can be unbearable.you might not understand my point of view. but well,there's only so much that I could do.your choice decides your destiny..