The feeling of lost is definitely turning me upside down now. Sometimes I feel so ashamed of myself whenever I get angry or upset because of the injustice or unfairness I felt. But who am I to judge others when I have my ugly side?
Long ago, I find myself no longer being able to call this "home"..along the way things get worse that I felt like escaping from this place..and it worsen till the extend that I desperately seeking for any excuses that i could find to escape from this place simply because I know that I no longer could tolerate with how things works. I have always knew that disagreement would not bring me anywhere but what am I waiting for? a miracle that one day the 1% of impossibility will out beat the 99%? but who am I trying to kid?
Few days ago, things got worse. I didnt feel any happier neither do I felt any more miserable simply because my disappointment had outweigh whatever feeling that is in me. Today a phone call from a friend has finally brought me back to the reality of facing it. During the phone conversation, I'm surprise with myself that I was able to come clean with however I am feeling. The very first time I am able to express whatever that is in my mind without holding anything back. Despite of all these, I felt that I am really blessed to have a friend that care, always being there to give me advice and needless to say the support that I could get. I sincerely like to thank you for the phone call which changes how I feel right now.
Although I do not understand why things has to be done in this way, but tonight I feel different. Truth will set you free, indeed it will. At least I felt the peace, maybe because this is the peace that I have been after..
Does my journey end here? Sadly to say I really don’t know..what is my next step gonna be? I really don’t know..what could I say with all the uncertainties I am left with? I don’t know..I could only pray that God will give me wisdom while handling all these or while I made my decision..
